Indian in the Classroom

Many of my Ancestors have paved the road before me when my tiny feet walked into Dry Creek Elementary for the very first time,
Relatives had their mouths washed out with soap, and were slapped with rulers, and spanked for speaking nəxʷsƛ̕ay̕əmúcən, the Klallam Language.
I walked into the classroom being one of two Native girls in the classroom.
Kids were mean to me, but I didn't know why.
I just thought it was because I was ugly.

There was a boy I had a crush on at least one day a year from Kindergarten all of the way until the twelfth, and it wasn't until I tried to befriend him on Facebook, that I realized he was racist.
His sister had acted out towards one of my friends and stated racist things to her.
I remember asking him one time if he thought I was pretty.
I also remember him telling me that I wasn't that pretty, because of the scabs on my face,
But when those scabs disappeared, he wasn't running to be by my side either.
I was always just good enough to be a "friend."

As a class with only four beautiful Native American females, we didn't have it THAT hard in school.
It is sad, because when I look back on it, I wonder if I was just so use to racism, that I didn't even realize it was happening.

The most blatant form of racism was when we were learning how to do mind maps, and this young man drew an Indian on a rotissary over a camp fire.
I thought it was dumb and was slightly offended, but my classmates were outraged.
When I went home my mom wasn't surprised when she heard what the boys name was.
She told me their family had always been racist.
Wow!
Sad!

There was a Native gentleman who moved to Port Angeles, and started Port Angeles High School after attending a Native school his entire life.
He always pointed out racism to me.
People looking at you funny.
I ignored him and thought he was too sensitive, but in retrospect, I look back and find that I was desensitized by peoples hurtful actions.

That moment in high school was the first time I realized that I was different from other people.
Yeah, I knew I had brown skin, but I didn't realize that some of the rotten things that other students had done to be in the past were because I was Native American.

School wasn't that rough for me.
I was the recipient of racist behaviors,
But when I look at my Ancestors who paved the road before me,
I thank them for making it easier for me.